Good morning from beneath the old suburban Oak this campervan morning. She is still holding onto a good few of her final leaves and we are close to January. Grey is the colour, being is the game. Heavy slow moving thick cloud above once more. The air is busy with birds, the usual echoes of pigeons, a smattering of crows, some far off geese and that’s about it. A single magpie flits through the scene, smaller sparrows and robins on the air. Waiting for the squirrels to emerge from their drey. Quite a temperate morning for the end of December. Things seem to have finally slowed for the holiday season and a little more peace has descended. The coffee retaining its heat a wee bit longer than last week. As I sit here the sun clears the horizon and brushes the clouds in pink. Enjoying this holiday the opportunity to sit and read, without just a wee pang of guilt that I should perhaps be doing something else. Also being a witness to my self and other peoples joy at this time of year is always a reward for the year gone by. Sometimes if feels like there is just not enough of it. I came across an amazing piece of writing from the Chilean writer and poet Pablo Neruda, during my reading and writing. A beautiful piece which encapsulates a huge amount of my work and thought processes. It’s titled ‘ You start dying slowly ‘, and opens ;
“ You start dying slowly if you do not travel, if you do not read, If you do not listen to the sounds of life, If you do not appreciate yourself. “
I was drawn into his world of words almost immediately. A clarion call to keep going so to speak, to not stand still, to grow, explore and experience. A deep resonance that I can not explain at this moment in time. I have read and reread this poem over and over, especially in the last few days and felt the need to share it in its entirety. I am always amazed as I sit in the mornings with a blank mind and screen, the various jigsaw thoughts that come together taking me on a journey. It’s closing verse chimed with me also :
“ You start dying slowly, If you do not change your life when you are not satisfied with your job, or with your love, If you do not risk what is safe for the uncertain, If you do not go after a dream, If you do not allow yourself, At least once in your lifetime, To run away from sensible advice… “
There is part of me that feels I can write about this poem for ever. Pinpoint decisions in my past, feelings and emotions that echo it’s statements, it’s advice, when I followed too much sensible advice and not enough the less so. Here’s the poem in full, I hope it hits you as it did me. Lovely days people.
You start dying slowly, if you do not travel, if you do not read, If you do not listen to the sounds of life, If you do not appreciate yourself.
You start dying slowly, When you kill your self-esteem; When you do not let others help you. You start dying slowly, If you become a slave of your habits, Walking everyday on the same paths… If you do not change your routine, If you do not wear different colours Or you do not speak to those you don’t know.
You start dying slowly, If you avoid to feel passion And their turbulent emotions; Those which make your eyes glisten And your heart beat fast.
You start dying slowly, If you do not change your life when you are not satisfied with your job, or with your love, If you do not risk what is safe for the uncertain, If you do not go after a dream, If you do not allow yourself, At least once in your lifetime, To run away from sensible advice…
Pablo Neruda.
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