Fast moving clouds and strong whippy winds this campervan morning. The chill has gone, replaced by a spring like damp warmth. The cloud is composed of dark greys and puffy purples that are fast moving away to the west. The wind is howling through the Oak and Ash, their branches bending, creaking and groaning at its will. The sounds are those of the wind and supplicant trees. Two large robins dart in and out of the grass looking for breakfast. The starlings in the Ash are vocal this morning, dominating with their conversation and song, accompanied by a Robin. It’s actually quite pleasant to be able to listen to the birds without having to tune out the racket of humanity, just the intermittent howl of the breeze. Crows hang in the sky motionless into the wind, before changing tack and disappearing from sight. There is dampness in the wind. The light is constantly revolving around greys and blues and then back again has the cloud skids across the sky. A busy weekend of drumming and here we are at the start of another week. Reflecting on the week gone by and the one to come. Working with people dealing with change and uncertainty yesterday and the emotions of not knowing. The conflicts it brings and the toll is takes on you, when you are waiting. I have been thinking about waiting a lot of late. I think it’s linked to the side of me exploring the grey and the black and white. I seem to have done a lot of waiting. In fact waiting appears to have held me back a lot too. The author Shauna Niequist writes :
“ I have always, essentially, been waiting. Waiting to become something else, waiting to be that person I always thought I was on the verge of becoming, waiting for that life I thought I would have. In my head, I was always one step away…”
In her book ‘ Present over Perfect ‘ she writes of leaving the pressure to be perfect behind. I have a sense for me that perfect and waiting are close companions. I was listening to a podcast yesterday where the conversation was around planning. I am a great planner, as I have said before I love a good plan. The crux of the argument was that you can plan all your life, but if you don’t begin it, it will never happen. So part of me is reflecting on the waiting and why the wait and the other part on the need to plan and being stuck in both. So actually it’s on waiting, planning, a sense of stuckness and wondering what that is all about. Shifts and changes only take one step, as Lao Tzu says a journey of a thousand miles begins with one step, you just need to take the first step and enough with the planning and the waiting already. Lovely days people.
“ Discover a purpose that gives you passion. Develop a plan that makes you persistent. Design a preparation and motivates you to optimize your potentials. Do it because you love it!” Israelmore Ayivor.
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