The Space between Chaos and Shape...

A heavy damp smell in the air this campervan morning. Earthy, wet it grabs at your chest, clings to you and kind of manifests on your clothes, but it’s not raining. Colder than it has been for some days, coffee steam and breath on air. It’s dark so no discernible signs to indicate the cloud cover. A few stars peak out then disappear, which gives a clue that it’s thick and broken. Birdsong and far off motorway rumble. Waiting on the sunrise and to welcome the solstice. A busy day of running around amongst the madness of my fellow man, but it’s done. Well to be frank if it isn’t done then shame, as I am not going out there again. I have to make a food bank donation as I forgot yesterday, but other than that batten down the hatches. The solstice begins, the reflections, the fresh understandings, revelations and learnings of the year gone bye. Accepting what has happened and beginning to formulate intentions for the year to come. Experiences that I have undertaken, new friendships, work and the onward direction. Like clay it’s being moulded, though I am yet unsure of its shape. In fact I don’t think it ever really has a finished shape, it’s always shifting, changing and reshaping has each experience manifests itself. So never a finished piece of work always in transition. The amazing author Jeanette Winterson, her of ‘ Oranges are not the only Fruit ‘ , but my personal favourite is ‘Why be happy when you could be normal ‘ once wrote :

“ In the space between chaos and shape there was another chance.” Jeanette Winterson.

I sense that I sit at this time of year in that space and look back at the shape of the year that has been I realise that there is no shape. As I say the clay is always being massaged and manipulated. As long as it’s by me and no one else then that’s a bonus. I try not to stand still. There is a restlessness, not a negative one, a positive one to shift and engage, develop and grow. I find it interesting as I sit here waiting for the sun to rise that I am talking of transition and change as the days shift and start to become longer. As the light grows it reveals a blanket of dense thick cloud overhead. Well happy winters solstice to you all and I hope that some light is being thrown into your inward and onward journey. Lovely days people.

“ It takes love to hold on when you want to let go. It takes love to let go when you want to hold on.” Kate McGahan