A hint of chill in the air this campervan morning. The sky once more yet to take shape, the look of sparseness and stars above my head. Greens, Reds and twinkling navigation lights pass over head. The far off motorway rumble almost over powering at times, fast rubber on unforgiving concrete. The suburban moan of existence. Having to work in the semi darkness to pull out nature. The sounds of ducks, crows and robins on the air, if somewhat subsumed in the murkiness of early morning humanity. A fresh early feel to the morning, breath on the air and steam rising from a hot coffee cup sat on my lap. I love early rises, when the day is yet to take shape, surrounded by darkness, your eyes and ears working over time to pull out sound, colour and image. A dappled sky of blues and white is slowly being unveiled as light forces darkness away. Another deliberately slow day yesterday and a sense of more of the same needed today. It is after all self care Sunday. The Oak hangs still though I can feel a chill on the wee bit of a breeze that is around. Some wheeling gulls pass overhead. The cold is getting to my fingers. A hint of sun paints some of the sky a vague orange and pink slowly deepening as I write, the morning turning into deep reds and pinks. The light returns to suburbia and everything takes its usual expected form. The enforced pause continues unabated. I sit here under the oak and contemplate another day ahead. Still wrestling with the productivity troll. Also reading yesterday about the loss of spontaneity. The virus I have has limited me for a while now and there is a sense of its impact on that this morning. Everything has what John O’Donohue calls ;
“ The rough gravel of deliberateness. “
I am kind of missing the natural spontaneity of everyday that feeds your energy. He goes on to write that ;
“ A natural spontaneity always holds you in the dance of your soul “
So my self care Sunday today is about putting some energy into rediscovering natural spontaneity. Moving away from the slog of deliberateness to the dance of spontaneity. Do something for yourself today, be spontaneous. Lovely days people.
“ Only through listening to the burden that has come to you will you be able to discover its secret structure “. John O’Donohue.
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