Persistent heavy rain this campervan morning, once more streaming down windscreen and windows and pattering on roof. An occasional breeze blows through whipping up the rain, the trees and hedges. It’s a dull, dark morning, heavy cloud and the sound of jet engines overhead. Nature hunkering down waiting for the rain to stop. The coffee is most welcome and as much as I love the rain, particularly in a van there is a sense that a break would be good. Cars spatter puddles, the world already busy. It’s a later start. It’s been a busy few days and Tuesday appears to be more of the same. Conflicting needs from myself and others means a challenge staying in the “ Here and Now “, but it’s also been incredibly constructive on many levels. An understanding from the cornerstone writing of yesterday, realisation, understandings and the sharings of others. The joys of letting go of elements of the past and the creativity that comes with the space. I am drawn to Maria Popova once again who wrote :
“ Having spent half of my own life trapped in a self-created world of rigid routines and clockwork habits — a half-conscious effort to manufacture the illusion of constancy and continuity, to cope with the uncertainty and unpredictability of life, to deny the fact that to be human is to be inconstant and discontinuous ourselves. “
It was like a penny drop moment. Looking at my self created routines and clockwork habits and how I use them to defend myself against the uncertainty and unpredictability of life. How I use them to quell my anxieties over situations, experiences and people. How I actually use them to prevent myself experiencing life, taking risks and having adventures. The comfortable place that can be these routines and clockwork habits, until something rubs, something doesn’t feel right, that sense of the uncomfortable, the sense that something must change, the sense of dissatisfaction with the status quo and how things are. And then you challenge them, through that challenge hopefully comes something new. Lots to journal about. Lovely days people.
“ The human spirit lives on creativity and dies in conformity and routine.” Vilayat Inayat Khan.
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