A grey murky almost disappointing campervan morning this morning. I was drumming till late and didn’t return until gone midnight and there was thick frost, ice, dense fog and the van gauge showed minus two on arrival at home. The radio on the drive home was full of news of snow, blocked motorways in Cumbria and there was a tinge of child like excitement for this morning, but here its now gone, replaced by damp, heavy thick grey cloud and the threat of rain in the air. The coffee is lasting longer, which is a result. A couple of crows sit atop of the ash, circling gulls in the air, a blackbird wrestles and flips fallen oak leaves in search of food. A lone robin flits here and there. The relative suburban Sunday silence in the air. The light has a greyness in it reflecting the state of the morning. A late finish this morning means a later start. A fabulous evening of celebration and drumming, friends and family coming together to sing, clap and drum, much to their surprise. A quieter day today, and reflecting on expectations this morning. The expectation of a cold, chill, crisp frosty morning only to find different, the expectation of people in themselves when they were confronted with a drum circle last night and how they smashed it. The expectations that we put on ourselves and others around us. The expectations that people put on us and expectations of culture and society. Sri Chinmoy writes that ;
“ Peace begins When expectation ends.”
It’s such a confining and controlling word. A weight we carry around with us or in fact I should name this, that I carry around with me. I can remember the shock from some people around me when I kicked my career into touch and went drumming and retrained as a counsellor. I was supposed to live out my job, pay my taxes, collect a pension and grow old. The societal expectation. One I failed to make, thank god I did. The people I have met, the horizons I have explored, the music we have made are beyond compare, because I broke away from an expectation. So reflecting on other expectations as I sit under the oak on a self care Sunday. Do something for yourself today. Love to you all and of course lovely days people.
I have used the quote before, but it feels apt this morning.
“ He was swimming in a sea of other people’s expectations. Men had drowned in seas like that.” Robert Jordan
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