Non - Judgement.

Heavy torrential rain batters the roof and sides of the van this campervan morning, wind driving it into the windscreen and the sides. It’s a cacophony of sound. My immediate sensorial world is on pause as it rides out this wee storm. Water cascades down the street, puddles grow instantly. A dark storm driven light and heavy cloud, nature as I say is on pause as it rides this out too. Everywhere is dampness, in fact you have the sense that everything is on pause until this passes. This is campervan morning 745. The first 700 seem to have flown by. The last 45, for some reason I have had to dig really deep. A busy few days and reflecting on a few conversations of late. A beautiful one around expectations and another around holding space. The quiet ability to create the conditions to hold a person or people in a non judgemental space where they feel held, supported, comfortable, able to be themselves, willing to take risks without fear and be listened to. Where you hold them with compassion, empathy and unconditional positive regard. Not just in the counselling room or the drum circle, but in life. Allowing the other to be seen, allowing their inner spirit to be fed, to talk without shame and to share without judgement. Sometimes you don’t have to fix you just have to listen. I love holding space, it’s a real passion of mine and something I think I am rather good at ( No judgement please ). For some reason that was a difficult sentence to write. There is a part of me that also checks in with myself during the process, feels the reactions, emotions, baggage and sensations that I feel and reminds myself to check those out. Holding space for others means growth for me too. We all hold space sometimes consciously, sometimes unconsciously. Next time you do, bring a bit of presence to it. You don’t have to fix ( Which sometimes can be difficult for men as we are brought up to fix things and as humans we are brought up to please ), just really be present and bring a wee bit of empathy, positive regard and compassion. The world would be a better place. It’s self care Sundays so don’t forget to check in with yourself and do something for you. Lovely days people.

“ When people talk, listen completely. Most people never listen.” Ernest Hemingway.

“If we can share our story with someone who responds with empathy and understanding, shame can’t survive.” Brené Brown.