Grey cloud and moisture on the ground this campervan morning. A chill on the breeze, it’s back to hats and hoods once more. Warm clouds of breath on the air. Sodden ground is heavy underfoot, scattered puddles and windy debris. The occasional breeze brings down a shower of droplets from the oak. Blackbird in the ash, still no sign of the starlings. The feintest hint of leave staring to appear on the ash, the oak remains resolutely bare. A lone magpie crosses the sky above me. I think I can pick out some Robin song as well as the caw of far off crows. A later start today and reflecting on a gorgeous conversation yesterday and what a gift it was. I have been reflecting on gifts of late. The gift of people and of experience. In my very early days of drumming and community building I came across a person that challenged me in every way possible from their sexuality, their appearance, their manner and their history. A total challenge and one that I learned so much about myself from. They were a genuine, kind, open and a beautiful person. They came over after a drumming event to praise me, but I said it wasn’t necessary. They gently took me to one side and said that not only was I robbing myself of the opportunity to hear something positive, but also them of the chance to show it and share it. This mantra has stuck with me ever since, as has the person. I realised that to accept is also a gift and they were a gift on so many levels. I have been reflecting on the inability to take praise and the gift of experience that people bring. Why is that it’s so difficult to hear or so difficult to accept a gift ? Solnit in her book ‘The Faraway Nearby ‘ talks of a gift of boxes of apricots that become an exploration of her relationships with people, herself and her journey with cancer. Do we find it sometimes difficult to accept gifts, because it’s puts us in debt to that person and as Solnit writes :
“ A sense that indebtedness is a burden “
One which we don’t want. However I am gratefully indebted to the person I met many years ago who educated me on so many levels. A debt I am more than happy to carry. At the same time remaining perplexed as to the difficulty in accepting praise and accepting gifts. Lovely days people.
“ The greatest gift of life is friendship, and I have received it.” Hubert Humphrey.
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