Early morning rain this campervan morning. The sound is that of rain falling on leaf, branch, grass and path. It’s light enough to be able to sit with it and listen and watch. The sky a blanket of greying white, solid and unmoving above me. A little subdued birdsong due to the rain, but a few blackbirds, robins, a distant cockerel, a few unseen crows and that’s about it. The overall sound is just gentle rain fall and birdsong, with the faintest rumble of invisible aeroplanes. Preparation in full swing for time away. For those that know me, my penchant for spreadsheets, folders and tick lists as been well and truly been satisfied. I have been reflecting on something said by Nick Cave in his book Faith, Hope and Carnage :
“ Maybe what happens when you get older is that you don’t have the same battles in the brain as when you were younger, when you just had shit flying all over the place, when you were grabbing at everything and just so amazed at the workings of your own mind ! Instead you become more focussed and just carve away all the non-essential stuff. “
I think he has a point. I have become more focused on what’s important to me the older I get. Not to get tangled up in the non-essential stuff. It’s interesting and how difficult that can be. Saying no to the non-essential, invariably that can mean saying no to someone ,something or an event. Greg McKeown in his book ‘ Essentialism ‘ talks of the discipline to say no to social pressures. He writes :
“To do it well takes courage and compassion. So eliminating the nonessentials isn’t just about mental discipline. It’s about the emotional discipline necessary to say no…”
For me challenging the need to please. I can be at times a people pleaser, which sometimes means taking all sorts of things on and putting pressure on myself. Something I have got a lot better at over the years. So learning to say No to people as been a big lesson. Also making decisions and having clarity about myself, my journey and what is essential to me has made some of these decisions easier. There is a feeling of empowerment balanced with a sense of selfishness which I have to deal with. However it’s not about saying no to everything and everybody it’s about saying yes to the right things and the people, places and events that nourish me and help me in my journey. It’s been a huge learning and one that circle rubies to challenge, as I am a people pleaser. Lovely days people.
“ The more material we lose, the less we have. The less we have, the more we win.”.
Anthony Liccione.
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