A wee bit cooler and cloudier this campervan morning. Broken white, what looks like altocumulus cloud, seems almost motionless in the morning sky. There is humidity in the air and everything hangs once more listless and damp. Late evening and overnight rain has left it’s mark, with the smell of dampness in the air and remnants of water scattered on floor and bush. An occasional glimpse of the sun, as it pokes its head between clouds. The air is noisy this morning, busy airports mean the constant strain of engines passing overhead, they must be using a different runway. Having to work a little harder to pull out nature this morning. I can hear an unseen robin in the high branches of the oak, the usual cockerel in the distance, a flurry of birdsong around me, but difficult to identify its broadcasters. A solitary crow flops through the scene. No sign of the motorway hum, so counting small blessings. It’s been an interesting few days, trying to slay the dragon of over preparation and learning to try and love not knowing. Eckart Tolle writes :
“ Being at ease with not knowing is crucial for answers to come to you “.
However one of my favourite quotes which I have been hanging onto is by a newly discovered author, to me any way, Shaun Hick.
“ Knowledge is too final. Not knowing lets you dream a little.”
So part of the process has been trying to be a little more comfortable with not knowing and prepping everything, and allowing the dream to breathe a little. And perhaps by allowing the dream to breathe I can allow myself flourish a bit more. I had a sense that over prepping was actually taking the joy out of the adventure. Sure, put a wee bit in, but I felt there was a danger of smothering the journey to death, or at least putting it into a straight jacket. So I have dual journeys running alongside each other at the moment. The external actual journey itself and the internal one allowing the dream to breathe a little. It’s the start of the week, so be gentle with yourselves. Lovely days people.
“ I am full of mistakes and imperfections and therefore I am real ...” Shaun Hick.
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