A dull grey heavy campervan morning, a chill on the air and on the accompanying breeze. A real lack of colours around me, as if the grey has sucked the spectrum out of the morning. The Ash is almost denuded of leaves, the Oak remains well covered. Nature busy, Crow cry, squabbling pigeons, a lone Magpie at the apex of the Ash, its staccato calls cutting through everything, before it flaps away. Smaller lighter birdsong sitting in between the heavier cries. There is a sense of expectation in the air, possibly if rain, I’m not sure, though none is forecast. My coffee is chilling way to quickly, an early refill maybe be necessary. Reflecting on an evening of live music by a wonderful band a few nights ago and a few thoughts around tensions, hierarchies, trust, authenticity and authority. So not a lot going on. The tensions that I have written about before, the tight rope we walk everyday between the extremities of these varying tensions. The tension between safety and danger, authority and freedom, growth and stagnation, health and illness, excitement and security, self care and self abuse and so on. A life built around negotiation of these tensions. I also have a few issues with hierarchies and the abuse, arrogance and disconnection that comes with some of them. In fact there is a part of me that’s quite forceful in ignoring, challenging, undermining and exposing hierarchies for what they are. The very nature of them that enforces subjugation, elitism, the us and them syndrome, the sycophancy that perpetuates them. The desperation to be part of it. There is an edge to me this morning that I am unable to put my finger on and will need to journal it out. A busy day ahead of community drumming, a part of my anti-hierarchical work, the great leveller, bringing together people as equals in a space to make music. The part of my work I love with a passion. So today is around tensions, pulling apart hierarchies, building community and passion. Lovely days people.
“ The passionate heart never ages “ John O’Donohue.
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