A sky full of stars this campervan morning, I love sitting in the dark this time of year. A blackbird in a distant tree is singing. Flashing navigation lights passing overhead, planes arriving from distant lands, big ones, small ones, fast ones and slow ones, some close by and some far away high in the sky. The rumble of early morning travel and rolling stock from the station. There is a chill, breath on air and steam rising from welcome hot coffee, but no sign of frost or any sense of any real cold and we are but a few days away from December. The skies appear to be busy this morning, no cloud and stars as a backdrop mean a myriad of flashing lights continue to pass overhead. I think that’s Venus shining brightly in the west, but my knowledge of the stars is dreadful. I have the constant drip of water from tree, hedge and eave for company this morning. Darkness sharpens the ears and the senses, every noise or sound seems so much more pronounced. As I sit here the blackbird appears to be no longer alone and is joined by other birds and a cockerel. The world is stirring. Each morning I sit here with no plan, no message, no idea what is going to unfold and wait to see what comes up. I was listening to a speech by a famous actor yesterday who talks about if you’re not losing you’re not even trying and “ Nothing in life is worthwhile unless you take risks “. I think if you go back over the 700 or so previous campervan mornings there will be several threads that continually emerge. I know previously I have written about risk and risk adversity. I was brought up in a risk adverse environment, we didn’t take risks, we played it safe, I don’t know why we just didn’t. Then again maybe that’s just my perception. I am not a risk taker myself, there is something that stops me short, or at least used to. I was not really very good at seeing opportunities. It was not until the situation became untenable, unbearable., uncomfortable or just plain wrong that the impetus for change came and to take a risk. The fear of judgement and getting it wrong that prevents the leap of faith. I have no idea, I have at times taken a deep breath and embraced the discomfort of risk taking and it’s paid off, in order to continue moving forward, gain momentum, keep life interesting, a wee bit uncomfortable, widening my skill set and understanding of self. I sense this is at the forefront of my mind as things are changing and therefore risk is sitting quite squarely with me. It’s a bit of diatribe this morning and for that I apologise. Risk taking and falling forward are the call for today. Lovely days people.
“ If you're waiting until you feel talented enough to make it, you'll never make it.”
Criss Jami
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